Don’t get mad. Get Even.

Voodoo LLP—where law firm management meets the dark art of needlepoint.

There’s a reason you’re here and that reason probably just dumped a pile of work on your desk and then left for the cottage. Not to worry. We feel your pain and have provided this website as an instructional tool for extracting subtle but effective revenge.

If you are already proficient at voodoo magic, you’ll find our Voodoo LLP dolls to be a very natural extension of your usual practices. If this is your first time using voodoo to get even, we’ve got you covered as well, as each doll has been vigorously tested to work consistently within any legal environment.


  1. Take out doll
  2. Remove pin
  3. Use our How To Guide to address your needs


Repeat daily (or as often as necessary)


Remember, if your reasons for needing this doll are marketing related, we at Cubicle Fugitive thrive on last minute assignments, unrealistic timelines, challenging projects and decisions by committee. Let us take on your burden, leaving you more time to play with your doll.

Remember it’s all about conviction. Enjoy!

Get Started

It’s never been easier to stick a needle in that special someone’s eye.

(Or other places for that matter.)

1. Better than aspirin

Got an attorney-induced migraine? Before taking medicine, try two pokes here for a fast-acting, 24-hour pain remedy.

2. Silence is golden

Want some genuine peace and quiet? Trace the pin around the lips for some instant silence (also works for bad breath).

3. Hunt and peck

Eleven at night and you’re still getting emails? Five pokes to each hand will limit electronic messaging capabilities, effectively hampering any already atrocious typing skills. Hunt and peckers will be left completely immobile. Note: Combine with a poke to the lips to eliminate digital dictation as well.

4. Pain in the *$$

Let’s face it. Every boss can be a bit of an *$$. Stick the doll here and your pain is now their pain.

5. Turn a blind eye

Planning on taking an extended lunch and don’t want to book vacation time to do it? A double poke here and no one at the firm will even notice you were gone. Take the whole afternoon off if you like.

6. Lend an ear

Wish the attorneys at your firm spent less time dictating and more time listening? Poke here and swish around to clean out the lines of communication. Pro-tip: the deeper the poke, the greater the impact on balance. Poke deeply for instant hilarity.

7. Matters of the heart

Need to send out a memo reminding partners that life exists outside of work? A quick poke to the old love muscle will get the emotions (and waterworks) flowing. Please note: results vary by original size of heart.

8. Honestly, do you need a reason for this one?


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While primarily to be used as a tool for revenge, Voodoo LLP dolls are uniquely multi-purposed and can solve a variety of challenges inside and outside the workplace.

Here are a few other suggested usages:

VoodooLLP Logo with Tail


  • Multiple assistants called in sick? Voodoo LLP dolls are well-versed in legal software, adept at fixing printer jams and can type 120 words per minute.
  • Have a last minute event to plan? Leave the details to your Voodoo LLP doll. He’ll scout locations, choose the food and hire a marketing firm (ahem, us) to design the invitations. As a bonus, your doll will not expect an invite.
  • Need expert testimony? Your doll speaks fluent legalese. Just put her on the stand and she’ll tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but your truth.


  • Don’t want to drink alone? Pop open the cork and pour two glasses guilt-free. Drink them both. This doll won’t tell?*
  • Forgot your daughter’s birthday? Wrap up a Voodoo LLP doll and say to her, “Look honey, I bought you a new doll to play with. It’s Ken’s evil brother, Burt.” Even Barbie likes a bad boy.
  • Looking for an excuse to let loose? Our Voodoo LLP dolls are always up for a night out on the town and they fit neatly into any pocket or purse. Can you say instant best friend?

*Not a legally binding NDA. Cubicle Fugitive & Voodoo LLP are in no way responsible for any information shared between you and your doll. **See full legal disclaimer.



Is this for real?

Yes. Well kind of. Actually, not really. This is for real jokes and is intended to be taken in good humour. If you do not have good humour, you have probably made it too far into this website already and should turn back immediately.

When is the best time to use my doll?

When no one is looking.

Can this be used on an entire practice group?

Yes, but for best results, it is recommended to first use it on the practice group leader and monitor results. We call it the "Queen Bee" approach.

Can this doll be used from long distances (e.g. from home)?

Who are you kidding? You don’t get to go home.

If my boss is a female, can I get a doll that looks like a woman?

First, we suggest you don’t ask that question out loud. Second, the answer to that question is yes. And she can do anything that he can, if not at least 33% better. Dammit.

What happens if the lawyer sees this doll and asks what it is for?

Act natural. Do whatever you normally do to get attorneys to leave your office. (e.g. Tell him you have thirty vendor checks that you need signed or want him to lead a committee of associates to discuss office renovations). If that doesn’t work, offer him a drink from your emergency stash if he will just walk away, no questions asked.

Will this actually work?

Um…we don't know.


About Us

Marketing your business shouldn’t be complicated. At Cubicle Fugitive, we pride ourselves on being transparent, easy to work with, full-service and fun (it doesn’t have to be a painful process).

Having both worked in and alongside law firms for many years, Cubicle Fugitive has a unique understanding of Legal Marketing and appreciates the complexities and time constraints of a partnership mentality. We thrive on having our designs judged by a committee of attorneys and excel at last minute decisions and rush ads.

Our recommendations are based on fundamental business strategy and are backed by years of industry experience. We are 100% client-centric, meaning we eliminate the headaches associated with a typical marketing agency while providing a full-range of services to help you grow your firm. No matter what the project, we uncover what makes your firm unique and devise the most effective, memorable and measurable solutions to drive business goals with a unified message. And along the way, we’ll arm you with all the information you require to get your project passed and budgets approved.

In essence, we take marketing and make it simple. Partner with us and you’ll see how.


Cubicle Fugitive
Toll Free:1.800.208.6529

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Seriously, no parts of the Voodoo LLP products or pamphlet are intended to be taken seriously. Voodoo LLP, the pamphlet and the doll were not meant to offend or harm anyone. Likeness of the Voodoo LLP doll to any actual person is completely coincidental. Everything we have created is to have fun and make work a little more enjoyable. It’s the cubicle fugitive way.